I know 1 easy thing you can do to make your next home movie far more entertaining.

Ready?

Get up.

No.  Not right now.  I mean when you’re shooting.

Don’t sit in one spot while your kid opens every birthday gift.  Get up and change your perspective with the camera.

In fact, every time you press the stop button- get up and…

• Change the distance between the camera and the subject
• Change the angle your viewing the subject from (move left or right at least 5 feet)

There.  That wasn’t so hard.

The part is now you’ll have a video that’s already watchable- no editing necessary.

(Unless you rolled camera on every blessed second that your three year old spent unwrapping her gifts.  You may still want to edit that down.)

If you’ve got a camcorder, or have posted to YouTube- you may have HMD.

I’m not going to judge you poorly if you make bad videos.  I’m just going to judge your videos.

The truth is many people suffer from what I call “HMD.”

• HMD = Home Movie Denial; It’s a medical condition that causes people to post really stinky movies on YouTube, or to force loved ones to watch awful streaming videos at family gatherings.

It’s not the end of the world.  I’ll help (you discover if your videos stink.)

Top 7 Signs that your videos stink, and nobody wants to watch them.

1. You managed to make a video that’s not about anything.
   • Fix it by steering your audience to a point.  (It would help if you knew what your point was going to be before you started making your crappy video.)
2. You’re being sneaky- and try to sell your audience something without offering anything of value.
   • People don’t like to get a sales pitch when they’re not expecting one.
     • This problem can be overcome, however, if you can offer your viewers something that’s worthy of their time.  If your video is very funny or teaches something of legitimate value- then I’ll give you a pass on the sales pitch.
3. You’ve failed to edit out mistakes.
   • Let’s say that you’ve recorded a poignant soliloquy about [fill in your hot button topic here], and the phone rang in the middle of the recording.  Please edit out the phone ringing in your finished video.  For flying monkeys’ sake- edit out the phone conversation
4. You’re Annoying.
   • Please- if you KNOW that others find you annoying, then maybe it’s not a good idea to make yourself the focal point in a series of videos about making home movies.  (Just sayin’)
   • Just because your mother has to love you- doesn’t mean the rest of us have to
5. You are completely unaware about the basic rules of visual composition.
   • The Rule of Thirds is a rule because it SHOULD be obeyed.  Otherwise, we’d call it the “suggestion of thirds.”
   • While I’m on the topic- watch your headroom, please.
   • If I see a tiny head at the bottom of picture, I get uncomfortable.
   • Your eyes should always be above the center of the screen- and your head should be near top of frame.
6. You can’t afford to pay your electricity bill?
   • Must be.  Why the @%#$ else would you be shooting in the ^&#$ dark?!!
   • Cameras need a good source of light to reproduce an acceptable image.
   • If you can’t afford the electricity- wait until daylight hours, and shoot then.  Please.
7. You have an itchy zoom button finger.
   • Yes.   The camera has a zoom button.
   • No.  Don’t throttle it back and forth like you’re a crazed weasel.  shh. shh. Just don’t.

Strap in CHuMs, because you’re about to learn one of my most valuable editing hints.

But before I lay down this media wisdom…

You know what’s weird?

Ehem– No.  It’s weird when you’re watching a video, and the scenes cut so fast that your eyes begin to bleed in their sockets, and you can’t tell what the sweet merciful crap you’re watching.

Rule #1, kids, is to Hold your shot.

Keep your shots on screen AT LEAST long enough for the average viewer to

• People in the biz would say a shot doesn’t have enough time to “read” if it’s not on screen long enough.
• The amount of time a shot needs to “read” is different for each shot.
  • It depends on how complex of an image it is.  Here’s things to look out for.
    • The more objects in a shot- the longer it needs to read
    • The crazier the camera movement is- the longer it needs to read
    • The less similar it is to shots around it- the longer it needs to read.
    • The more stunningly pretty a single composition is- the more you should let your viewers linger on it.

You know why this is tip #1?

If you don’t keep a shot on screen long enough, and pictures go by too fast- your intended audience will STOP WATCHING.

Also- you’ve made a stinky video.

Don’t make your videos stinky.

Hold your shots on long enough, and make your videos awesome!

I apologize if, you in fact, are a pig- but this is shiznit you need to know!

BACK UP YOUR HARD DRIVE REGULARLY.

How would you feel if you lost every family picture and video you had from the last 5 years?  That would be stinky- right?

You can never be sure when your computer’s gonna take a big plopper, so be ready.

continue reading…

It’s the same old song and dance my friends… You visited a big tourist attraction, and you shot way too much footage.

Nobody will ever want to see you posing next to the Biggest Ball of Twine in Minnesota.

Not ever… No.  Nobody.

That is– unless you watch this and  make your boring vacation clips into something wildly cool.

The Moral of the Story?

Don’t Spoil Harry Potter for anybody, or my knight will kill you.

The Holiday season has officially begun,

but you must see this before you lay down your cool cash for those hot camcorder deals out there.

• Did you know  there are 3 different categories of camcorders?
• Can you tell me  the biggest thing to consider when looking for your next camcorder?
• Any idea why I’m grilling you like this?

This is Part 1 of 3 episodes that will help answer all these questions- and more!

File this one under: Obvious

To make awesome home movies, you need to take your camera out of the closet.

• How many times have you seen something really cool, and you wished that you had your camcorder?

Say you went out for a beer at the Las Vegas Lounge in Philadelphia.  You order a Miller Chill with lime, and then you see Danny Bonaduce walk in wearing an Evil Knievel costume.  Then, he challenges you to a thumb war.

continue reading…

See why a tripod is the best weapon against bad home movies.

(Makes you want to see Scar Face again, doesn’t it?)

Ensure your audience a great viewing experience!

We all know that watching a video shot using poor camera work is hard to watch.

You know it.  I know it.  Your father-in-law… needs to read this.

As you recall, telling a story is the most important thing to do when making a video.

The next most critical thing is to use good, solid, time-tested camera techniques.

If the mere mention of watching your videos make people scatter like cock roaches in light, you may suffer from what I call HMD.

6 Easy ways to practice good camera technique

1. Hold your camera steady while shooting - Keep your elbows close to your body.
2. Don’t pan and tilt all the darn time!! - There’s nothing wrong with slowly panning across your scene… once.  After you get your wide sweeping (slow) pan, then concentrate on tighter, and again, steady shots.
3. Hold your Shot – Hold your shots for at least 5 seconds.  I usually shoot between 8 and 15 second long clips.
4. Frame your Shots – Try to make the things your shooting look nice in the image frame.
5. Get Close Ups – Your viewers want to see the details of the who and what your showing them.
6. Get Sound – If it’s a video of your kids, your audience WANTS to hear them SAY cute things.  If it’s a video of your friends, then you want to HEAR them say something clever or funny.

• • To get any decent audio of your subjects’ speech, your camera will have to be within 4 feet of the person speaking.  (Unless you have a shotgun mic or a lavaliere mic.)

Stay tuned, class, for more detailed discussions of all of the above!

Never let your recording media get the best of you.

Wrangle your home movie acquisition media before it gets out of control.